As part of my post-prison program, my therapist suggested I take up a sport or find a girlfriend. This resulted on this Craig's List ad:
Single Jewish Male Looking for Woman - 24
I'm not very good at describing myself. If I had to use three words to describe me it would be vulnerable, artistic, and angry. I'm a writer for a local video store's blog and collect rare bathrobes. My hobbies include watching movies and thinking about what movie I watch next.
When it comes to women I want to be romantically involved with, I'm not picky. My only conditions are:
- You can't be taller than me (5' 6'')
- You must maintain good hygene
- You must not be easily offended
- If you have an accent or are from a foreign country, it's a plus
- No albinos
If grabs your attention, e-mail me at (e-mail withheld for security reasons) and maybe we can set something up!
Unfortunately, no women thought I was interesting enough. The only person that responded turned out to be a spambot and believe me, you don't even want to hear about how my casual encounters ad went. So, I took my therapist's other suggestion and took up a sport.
I went back on Craig's List to recruit a team. I have now successfully created the first Ultimate Frisbee team for South Pasadena; the South Pasadena Sentinels!
We've made it all the way to the semi-finals. Next, we're going up against the Altadena Alley Cats. Stay tuned to this blog for results!
Big Stan: I think people give Rob Schneider a hard time. People automatically assume that they're better than to watch one of his movies, but that's pure arrogance. Try to admit to yourself that his Soon-Yi Previn imitation was not funny. If you're saying to yourself "No, it wasn't funny", you're lying to yourself. Give the guy a chance and rent his new film "Big Stan". If you still hate the guy afterwards, just know that he's far richer than yourself.
Bolt: I'm currently a physics major at CalTech, so let me use my math abilities to explain this film:
Talking Dog + Talking Cat / Hamster - John Travolta * Miley Cyrus = Confusion + Mild Entertainmet[Fart Joke]
Craig Ferguson: Wee Bit O' Revolution: I use to watch Drew Carey show where this guy was a regular. I remember being shocked when I discovered he has a very thick Scottish accent, as opposed to the English accent his character had on the show. I would watch this, but the whole accent thing bothers me. You should rent it for me!
Forbidden Hollywood Collection: Volume 3: I'm not sure why these films are forbidden, but I'm going to assume it's got plenty of men and ladies doing forbidden things. If you're into that sort of stuff, I would check it out. Me, I'm a hardcore Calvinist. This could, as a result of viewing, prevent from entering Heaven, thus, I shan't be watching this!
In Treatment: So they made a show about therapy, huh? Having been (and still going) to threapy, I can vouch that this show ill represents us therapy goers. Where's the average joe, joe cool, or sloppy joe? Instead, we get some teenager moping about how she wants to kill herself and how she wants to be in the Olympics. Everyday I hear about people with REAL problems who just bite the bullet and continue living! Why waste money and time on a threapist!? The only reason I'm going is because some judge I don't even know is forcing me to! Sorry, I went on a rant there... I'll try to avoid this in the future.
Quantum of Solace: Okay, so I was thinking about the title. It just doesn't make sense. It's very similar "Yahoo Serious" in the fact that they combine two words and it doesn't make a lick of sense. I'm aware of the words "quantum" and "solace", but "Quantum of Solace" sounds like the title a kid made for his amatuer graphic novel he started in high school. I haven't seen a new James Bond film in a while, but I'm pretty sure this is potentially cool. On the cover, he's calmly walking away from an explosion all while keeping his suit perfectly neat. This is leading me to believe that you should rent it, but knowing you, you'll rent it just to see that hunkasaurus Daniel Craig.
The Venture Bros.: Season Three: I've seen a couple episodes of this show. Me and my cohort agree that it's definatly in your best interests to watch this. The episode I remember best involved David Bowie battling his former creative accomplices Iggy Pop and Klaus Nomi to the death. Based on this episode alone, I would say this may be the greatest show to be witnessed by man. It doesn't hurt that the show itself looks good, too.
NEW RELEASES THAT I WAS TOO LAZY TO WRITE ABOUT:
Days of Being Wild (Blu-Ray)
House of Flying Daggers (Blu-Ray)
Mad Detective (Blu-Ray)
Passport to Great Weekends
Radiohead: Beat Special UK
Radiohead: Rock and Ring
Red Cliff (Blu-Ray)
The Riches: Season 2
Feature Actress Natasha Richardson: In memory of the recent passing of Natasha Richardson, we put up a section in her honor. You can now rent the 1998 version of "The Parent Trap" in her honor. Unfortunaly, her best movie, "Patty Hearst", in unavalible. Write angry letters to Paul Schrader demanding a DVD realease of the film in her memory.
Women's History Month: "Wait, wait, wait! Let me get this straight! Women can vote!? AND DRIVE!!?? What kind of sick, twisted science fiction world is this!?". Did that quote upset you? Stick it to chauvinistic male oppressor by renting "The Color Purple" and "North Country". That'll teach them for trying to dick you around!
Also, Marina M. and France Gall still have their respective sections up. Unfortunatly, due to powers beyond my control, the Slumdog Millionaie/Danny Boyle, Sean Penn, and Mark W. sections are gone. I tried my best to save them, but the man won.
So they're still repairing the store front. To turn on the lights in the entrace, I have to make my way around a six foot gap. Because of construction, half our drop box is gone as well. I don't know if we'll ever get it back, but for the moment, we have to manage with a what's almost a sad memory of our former box.
IS THIS BLOG POST FINISHED:
Yes it is.
MORAL FOR THE WEEK:
When you see yellow tape preventing you from crossing an area, understand that it's just tape. You can easily remove it and make your way to any crime scene/chemical disaster.
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