Man, oh man. Gee golly. Holy mackarel. Last week was a week for news, huh?
Oh! You say you don't read the paper or watch television and that you'd prefer to rent DVD's and Blu-Rays? That's great! It means we make a profit and I get to keep my job! Well, for you movie watching types, let me fill you in on the happenings of the week:
Madness in Iran: When a rigged election happens in the US, a bunch of second rate filmmakers make documentaries about how bad Bush is. When a rigged election happens in Iran, innocent people go protest, get shot and have their death video uploaded on YouTube.
North Korea and the Nukes: North Korea, always ready to brag about their non-existent supremacy over all other East Asian countries, is claiming that if the UN inspects their ships the UN believes they are loaded with nuclear missles, Kim Jong Il will take it as a declaration of war. I think we should try to reach some agreement where no one gets nuked and Kim Jong Il continues to have a healthy supply of old lady sunglasses before the world becomes "Gravity's Rainbow".
The Death of Ed McMahon: I'll remember him always courtesy of Phil Hartman's great imitation. I just remember his character always being drunk and always yelling "You are correct, sir!".
The Death of Farrah Fawcett: Suddenly, I feel very dirty having her poster still pinned up next to my bed.
The Death of Michael Jackson: Unless he was accused of molestation, nobody really cared about him since the early nineties. Now suddenly he's dead, everyone's a fan. Amazon sold out of his albums within fifteen minutes of the new. No respect for the dead, huh?
The Death of Billy Mays: All the chubby, bearded men of America are convening at Billy Mays' star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The wait in line is four hours. His star is also the shiniest in the whole street courtesey of OxiClean. "Stains? What stains?". Rest in piece ol' buddy.
So, let's forget about the horrors of the world. Instead let's look at this week's new releases:
Kaidan: I don't know anything about foreign cultures or other languages, but I do know that "kaidan" means ghost story. If you like ghost stories I would watch this, but for the weak hearted or weak bladdered, I don't reccomend it.
Tokyo!: This movie is not called "Tokyo". It's called "Tokyo!". My main men Gondry, Carax, and that guy who made "The Host" all have their own idea of how Tokyo is! Also, it's a film about women turning into chairs and people ordering pizza and not about Japan's unstable economic situation, their increasing low birth rate and the many social issues. Sounds fun!
Two Lovers: A customer whose judgement I trust said that this film was "excellent, but very dark". A relationship movie that's "dark"? Sounds awesome! I'm getting tired of these "Bride Wars" and "Made of Honor" and "Father of the Bride" type films. Where's the movie for the person whose relationships never work out, huh!? This sounds like it may be it.
OTHER NEW RELEASES/NEW ARRIVALS:
Absolute Power (Clint Eastwood)
Inspector Gadget 1&2 (The live-action version)
Picking Up the Pieces
Punk in England
Robot Chicken S.3
Secret Diary of a Call Girl S.2
A Song of Innocence
FOURTH OF JULY:
Before you get full of meat and beer and then accidentally hurt yourself with fireworks you bought in Tijuana, know that Videotheque will be open, but ONLY UNTIL 8 PM. We also want to get full of meat (except the Vegetarians) and beer and then accidentally hurt ourselves, too!
See you next week!
MORAL OF THE WEEK:
Please don't use illegal fireworks. True story: 4th of July, 1992, my father (completely sober mind you) was lighting illegal fireworks and accidentally held one too long. It ended up popping in his hand. He suffered some minor burns and instead of going to a hospital, he just put ice and water on it instead. He was lucky enough not to blow off a finger.
Our collage of photos while a customer shops on.
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